If you’re a Christian, the last thing you want to do is hurt someone. In fact, it’s probably your mission in life to help people feel better and lift them up when they’re down. But sometimes, even the best people can hurt others without meaning to. For these reasons (and more), we must learn how to forgive those who’ve wronged us. But forgiveness doesn’t come easily—especially if you’ve been deeply hurt by someone else’s actions or words. So what do you do? What should be your responsibility as a Christian when someone hurts you?
What To Do As A Christian When Someone Hurts You
1. Realize your love is not a feeling
Realize that love is not a feeling. It’s a choice.
Love is not a feeling, but rather it is an act of the will (a free choice). We don’t love people because we feel like it; we choose to love them because we have decided to do so and our decision has been made firm by God’s grace in us.
2. Understand that forgiveness isn’t saying what they didn’t matter
Forgiveness means making a conscious decision to let go of the pain, hurt, and anger that someone has caused you. You do not have to forget what was done in order to forgive. When someone has hurt you, it may be helpful for you if they seek forgiveness from God and try to make amends with you (Matt 6:12-15).
Forgiveness is not condoning the behavior or allowing another person to continue treating us poorly without consequences. The offender must seek change on their own initiative, but we do not need permission from them before we can forgive them! Forgiveness is simply losing our grip on resentment towards them so that we are free again ourselves (Eph 4:26-27).
3. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you forget
Forgiveness is a choice. It is a decision to let go of the past, the pain and anger you feel toward the person who hurt you. Forgiveness starts with understanding that you can’t control their actions and feelings. You have no say over whether they apologize or make amends. But forgiveness isn’t an emotion—it’s a decision that you make for yourself, regardless of how they behave toward you.
Forgiving someone doesn’t mean that one day soon you’ll forget what happened, but it does mean that healing can begin in your mind and heart when you choose not to hold on to your anger about being hurt by others (or ourselves).
4. Forgiveness requires getting justice
Forgiveness is not the same thing as reconciliation. Reconciliation is when both parties come together and work to heal their relationship. That’s something that you can do with someone who has hurt you, but forgiveness means that you have chosen to forgive them even though they are still wronging others and/or themselves in some way. In other words, forgiveness requires getting justice for your pain, the person who hurt you, those who were hurt by the person who hurt you, and yourself so that they won’t be able to do it again (and so that they may have a chance at healing).
5. Be thankful for the pain inflicted
Let’s start with the obvious: pain is inevitable. If you’re human, you’ll experience it at some point in your life. And while that might seem like a depressing thought, there are actually plenty of reasons why pain is good.
For example, let’s say someone has wronged or hurt you in some way—say they stole your car or something worse than that (which would be awful). If this person caused you emotional pain, then it’s likely that they were able to do so because they got under your skin somehow. The solution? Don’t let them get under yours again! Learning how painful it was for them to take advantage of who they could have been and learning to avoid doing similar things yourself can help prevent future instances from happening again—and will also encourage personal growth within yourself as well as others around
6. Pain is inescapable. But the way you react to it can lead to a positive outcome.
Pain is a fact of life.
- It’s inescapable.
- You can’t avoid it, and you won’t be able to escape it.
But what you do with the pain you experience will determine its final outcome in your life. What if we looked at pain as something that brings us closer to our Creator? Something that reminds us of our purpose and strength?
The Bible teaches us that the greatest commandment is to love God with all our heart, soul, and mind. But it also tells us to love our neighbors as ourselves. Sometimes, this means forgiving someone who has hurt you or your family. If we are going to live up to that standard of loving others as we love ourselves then we have no choice but to forgive those who have wronged us