Submission is a hot subject, especially in the church. Some women claim that it is unbiblical for them to submit to their husbands, but this isn’t true. In fact, submitting to your husband is one of the best ways you can show him love and respect his leadership. The Bible never calls for a woman to ignore her own convictions or fail to make wise decisions based on her own wisdom and knowledge of Scripture. Instead, God honors the woman who lovingly submits by allowing her husband to lead their family with humility and wisdom—just as he wants us all to do in every area of life!
Submitting To Your Husband When You Don’t Agree
Husbands are called to be leaders in their marriage and families.
Husbands are called to be leaders in their marriage and families, which means they have the responsibility of leading their wives and children. Husbands must also lead their families in the church. This may sound like a lot of pressure, but it’s something that every husband is called to do regardless of how well he can do it or how much he enjoys doing it or even if he believes that God expects him to do all these things.
In order for husbands to fulfill this calling from God on them, however difficult it might be at times, they need their wives’ cooperation. Husband-wife relationships work best when both spouses are working together as partners to strengthen one another’s weaknesses instead of competing with each other over who has more influence over decisions being made within their marriage (and family).
The Bible never calls for a woman to ignore her own convictions.
Let’s be clear: The Bible never calls for a woman to ignore her own convictions. It never says that women should blindly follow their husbands, no matter what they say or do. That would make them subservient, not submissive.
A biblical wife is called to submit to her husband in the Lord (Ephesians 5:22), but she is also called to respect him (1 Peter 3:7), pray for him (Colossians 4:2), and stand beside him in good times and bad (Proverbs 31).
No one likes being told how they should behave, especially when it comes from someone else who has made mistakes in life themselves! But submission does not mean you have no voice—it simply means that you let your husband lead based on his own moral compass.
A husband often may feel that he has lost his voice and leadership when his wife doesn’t submit.
A husband often may feel that he has lost his voice and leadership when his wife doesn’t submit. But God calls men to be leaders in their marriage and families, and He doesn’t ask them to ignore their convictions or the commands of Scripture. The Bible never says that a woman should ignore her own convictions or the commands of Scripture. When we’re not submitting, what we’re really doing is being disobedient to God.
A God-centered marriage will have a different texture than other marriages.
The key to submitting to your husband is to remember that a God-centered marriage will have a different texture than other marriages.
The reason for this is because God is the center of the marriage. As Christians, we know that God created our world and everything in it for His glory [Genesis 1:1-3]. Thus, when we understand and believe this truth about Him, our lives are transformed by it. We begin to live out of love for Him rather than selfishness (1 Corinthians 13). Because He loved us first [John 3:16], we also learn how to love others more sacrificially than we could ever imagine on our own (Romans 5:8). This is what makes our decision in submission so important; if we do not follow through with it then our entire marriage will crumble apart over time because there was never enough commitment between two people who were created uniquely by God Himself!
God honors the woman who lovingly submits.
God honors the woman who lovingly submits.
God honors the woman who submits out of love.
God honors the woman who submits out of respect.
God honors the woman who submits out of obedience.
God honors the woman who submits out of reverence.
Remember the vows you made when you married your husband.
It has been said that a good marriage is like a garden. You have to tend it, and if you don’t, weeds will grow and choke out your plants. But when you’re married to someone who isn’t as interested in tending their own garden as they are in complaining about yours, the weeds can take over quickly—and when that happens, things get ugly fast.
The Bible tells us that husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). Jesus’ love for His bride was sacrificial; He laid down his life for her (John 15:13). Husbands should seek to put aside their own desires and interests so they can serve and sacrifice for their wives’ benefit (1 Peter 3:7–8). If you try to do this with your husband but he refuses or doesn’t listen or doesn’t care enough about your needs or feelings then ultimately it’s not really up to him whether or not he meets those standards because God told him what those standards were!
Ask yourself if your expectation of submission is actually rooted in selfishness or pride.
- Ask yourself if your expectation of submission is actually rooted in selfishness or pride. This may seem like a no-brainer, but many women who expect their husbands to submit to them are actually hoping for something more. Sometimes this means the husband will make decisions and be the authority figure in their relationship. Other times, it simply means that the wife wants to feel as though she’s an equal partner with her husband—a standard which does not necessarily conflict with submission. A woman who expects her spouse to submit because she believes there’s only one person making all decisions can be considered arrogant; however, a woman who expects her spouse’s submission because she believes it’s what God intends for marriage has nothing at stake on an ego level and therefore doesn’t need to worry about whether or not she feels like her wishes are being respected by her husband.
Before you continue to refuse to submit, ask yourself if it’s worth it.
Before you continue to refuse to submit, ask yourself if it’s worth it. What is the cost of not submitting? What is the cost of submitting? Are there any benefits to submitting? How do you know if you are submitting for the right reasons or because you don’t want your husband mad at you?
If there isn’t a benefit for either one of these things, then chances are good that God wouldn’t want us doing them anyway!
When wives choose to submit, they are demonstrating their faith in God’s ability to help their husbands lead with humility and wisdom.
It’s important to remember that submitting to your husband is not easy. It can be difficult, hard and even challenging at times. You may not always feel comfortable with the decisions he makes or agree with where he wants to take the family. But when wives choose to submit, they are demonstrating their faith in God’s ability to help their husbands lead with humility and wisdom.
The Bible tells us that our homes should be places where love abounds, joy is shared, peace prevails and unity prevails (1 Peter 3:7). These things will only happen when we honor each other by working together as a team—with our own strengths supporting one another’s weaknesses and vice versa.
Loving submission by a wife is an important part of having a healthy marriage.
Submission is a choice, not a requirement. It’s a way to honor God and your husband, which will ultimately result in honoring your marriage and family.
I hope this article has helped you to understand how important submission is in a God-centered marriage. I also hope that it has given you some ideas for how to respond if your husband asks you to submit more than he may already be doing. If possible, talk with other wives who have been in similar situations and get their advice on what worked best for them. If nothing else, remember that God honors those who love him and are willing to trust him with every aspect of their lives!