Here’s a rundown of what I talk about in my new book, “How to Stop Sinning Sexually” (…and other areas of life that are totally fine, but you’re gonna feel better if you get those out of the way first).
How To Stop Sinning Sexually
Ask for God’s help.
When you ask for God’s help, remember that he loves you and is always ready to help. He will give you the strength to resist temptation, but it’s up to you to ask him for it. Never let pride get in the way of asking for what you need from God.
God will forgive those who confess their sins, even sexual sin (1 John 1:9). When we sin sexually or otherwise, we should talk with a friend or pastor about how we can overcome our struggles—but this only helps if we do not keep them secret! If your friends know that they are safe around you because there is no chance that they will be harmed by any impure thoughts or actions on your part, then they will feel free to discuss these things openly themselves.
Asking God for forgiveness doesn’t mean giving up trying not to sin sexually; instead it means recognizing where our weakness lies so that we can work on overcoming those weaknesses whenever possible (Romans 7:15-25). Remembering that God wants us all separated from our sins (Romans 6:23) rather than condemning ourselves over them will help us stay positive when trying new methods for resisting temptation at home or in public places with lots of people around us.”
Run from temptation.
“But if you do not run from it, you will not be able to stand the test and keep your faith.” (1 Corinthians 10:13)
Run from temptation! When Jesus was tempted by Satan, He ran away from him. You can’t stop sinning sexually if you give into temptation. If someone wants to commit a sexual sin with you, don’t think about why they want to do it; just say no and walk away! Don’t listen to their excuses or lies; don’t let them talk you into doing what they want. Run away so that they won’t hurt you emotionally or physically. Even if someone threatens to hurt people close to them if they don’t get what they want, still run away! This shows that God has control over our lives and He is protecting us against sinning sexually even when others try their best efforts at manipulating us into committing sexual sins against one another.”
Confess and repent of your sins.
There are two steps to take in order to stop sinning sexually: confess and repent.
- Confess your sins to God. Openly acknowledge the wrong you have done, and ask Him to forgive you.
- Repent of your sins. Understand that when we sin, our hearts are hardened against God (Ecclesiastes 7:20). Repentance is a change of mind, a decision to turn away from sin and return back into fellowship with God (Jeremiah 4:1-2; Ezekiel 14:6-7).
Avoid sinful situations.
The best way to stop sinning sexually is to avoid situations that tempt you. If you don’t go where you might be tempted, then you won’t be tempted. Don’t go to places where other people are committing sexual sins (like strip clubs, or party locations). Don’t let yourself be alone with someone who could tempt you (this includes your spouse). This doesn’t mean that all associations between the sexes are sinful; married couples should interact with each other in healthy ways. But there should always be boundaries around singles and non-married couples interacting together for long periods of time or sharing a bed or bathtub when it’s not necessary for hygienic purposes.
Stop viewing pornography.
A big mistake is viewing pornography. It has many negative effects, including damaging the brain’s reward center. The more you watch pornography, the more your brain will become accustomed to it, making you crave it more and more. It also increases your risk of developing an addiction to sex or relationships.
If you want to stop sinning sexually, then stopping the viewing of pornography is one of the first steps that should be taken.
Stay away from other sexual sins.
- Avoid pornography.
- Avoid sexual immorality. This can include engaging in casual sex or a one-night stand, having sex outside of marriage, or masturbating to pictures or videos of others (even if they’re your spouse).
- Avoid sexual temptation. This could be the urge to flirt with someone else when you’re married and monogamous, or the desire to look at pornography even though it makes you feel guilty afterward.
- Avoid sexual sin. If you’ve already given into temptation and engaged in an act that isn’t compatible with your values as a Christian, repent and ask God for forgiveness immediately after committing the act; don’t wait until tomorrow or next week.
If you want to stop sinning sexually, God will help you.
The Bible tells us that Jesus came to bring us life and life in abundance (John 10:10). When we live with God, we are promised a future full of joy, peace and righteousness (Romans 5:1-2).
But if you want to live this way today—to stop sinning sexually or any other way—then God will help you. He will never leave you nor forsake (Deuteronomy 31:6). That’s why we can be sure that no matter how difficult or tempting your struggle might be right now, God will not turn His back on you.
He wants to give you strength right now so that no temptation is too great for you and perfect love for those who fear Him protects them from evil (1 John 4:18).
I hope this guide has been helpful to you. As I said at the beginning, it’s not easy to stop sinning sexually, but God wants you to be free from this sin so he will help you if you ask him.