How To Honor Parents Who Are Not Honorable:
Consider what you want.
Decide what you want.
You can choose how to honor your parents, and how to hold on to anger over their actions. You can choose whether or not you want to keep toxic ties with toxic parents. Remember that they’re people too, and they’re not perfect—they will never be the idealized version of your parents that you’ve built up in your head for so long; make peace with that reality before trying to change them into something else. Honor yourself first by taking care of yourself: if it’s possible for you to cut toxic ties with toxic parents at this point in time, do so as soon as possible; if not, then consider alternative methods of honoring them (or yourself).
You can choose how to honor your parents.
I know that this is a difficult topic, but there’s no sense in pretending it isn’t true: sometimes we have to choose how to honor our parents. When our parents are not honorable people, or when they’ve done something against the law, we have to make a decision about what kind of relationship we’ll have with them. We can choose to honor them by choosing not to honor them—that’s one option. Or we can choose not to honor them by honoring them—that’s another option. And then there’s the third option: honoring them in spite of their dishonorability by treating them well and doing nice things for them. That last choice seems like an obvious good one at first glance, but remember that if you’re honoring someone who doesn’t deserve your honor then you’re essentially giving yourself away for free!
You can choose how to hold on to your anger.
Anger is a natural human emotion. It’s OK to be angry. But holding onto anger—holding on to your parents’ dishonorable actions, holding on to the pain of betrayal—is another matter entirely. You can choose how you want to hold on to your anger.
If you choose not to let go of your anger and instead allow it to eat you alive from the inside out, then yes, that’s a problem. Anger will make you unhealthy and unhappy (and sometimes angry people are just mean). You might do things that hurt other people or yourself as well as yourself in the long run by keeping this kind of grudge around for too long: staying mad at someone else keeps them from being able to see their own wrongdoing; and if we don’t forgive others for what they have done wrong against us then we are unable even ourselves from moving forward in our lives with peace and happiness because our hearts have been hardened against those who have wronged us!
Parents are people too, and they’re not perfect.
We must not forget that parents are people, too. They have feelings, emotions and needs — just like we do. They can change for the better. They can learn from their mistakes and become better people because of it. They may not be perfect now, but they can become better in the future if they put their minds to it!
Honor your own story first.
When you find yourself in a situation where your parent is honoring themselves but not you, honor your own story first. Honor your own story second.
Honor it again and again until they take notice and change their behavior toward you. When they do, then honor their stories as well—but only after they’ve changed their behaviors toward you!
And sometimes it’s better to let go of the relationship entirely if there is no way for them to be honorable with each other or with others around them. It can be hard to do this but sometimes that’s necessary to protect yourself from further harm from them or from others who will imitate their behaviors when interacting with them due to fear of being attacked themselves by the toxic person in question
Take care of yourself.
- Know that you are worthy of love.
- Be kind to yourself.
- Don’t let your parents’ behavior affect you, or affect your relationships with other people, or even your relationship with yourself.
Do what you can to cut toxic ties with toxic parents.
If your relationship with your parents is not healthy for you, then you need to do what you can to cut toxic ties with toxic parents. This can be difficult, especially if the parent has a lot of control over your finances or other aspects of your life. If this is the case, it may require legal action on your part.
If you are able to cut toxic ties with toxic parents as much as possible, try using these tips:
- To avoid contact: Tell them that you are upset by their behavior and don’t want them contacting you again until they change. Letting them know how much it hurts when they behave badly will let them know how serious you are about this request.
- To avoid seeing each other: Agree on an amount of time spent together per week or month (depending on how often they want to see each other), then stick to that agreement without fail. If they try calling more than the agreed upon amount, don’t answer their calls or respond via text message—just ignore them completely!
Even if your parents are not honorable, you can be nice to them and think about them in a way that honors their humanity if you want to.
You can choose how to honor your parents. You can choose to be nice and kind, no matter what they’ve done or not done for you. You can choose to think about them in a way that honors their humanity instead of treating them as if they’re inhuman monsters who didn’t care about you at all when they were alive.
And if your parents are not honorable people? Well, then it’s up to you to decide how much of their behavior warrants the anger and resentment that follows from such an experience. If it helps, try reminding yourself that even though your parents may have hurt you or disappointed you in some way—and even though this might continue happening for the rest of your life—they’re still people too! And as humans ourselves (who aren’t perfect), we don’t always do things right or make decisions we later regret making; sometimes we just make mistakes along the way because our brains aren’t perfect either…
Whatever you decide to do, know that you have the power to choose how you think about and honor your parents. And know that it’s okay if it takes time to make peace with what they did or didn’t do. It’s okay to feel angry and sad, as long as you don’t let those feelings stop you from living your life.